God is Bigger
Current mood:
blessed
“My God is so big so strong and so mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do.”
The song repeated in my head over and over on the first Sunday of Oasis’ “How big is your God?” series. I know my God is big. I’ve always known it, hence the ancient Sunday school song stuck in my head. I’ve often told others of God’s bigness. I’ve seen God work time and time again. As the child of missionaries and being a crazy adventurer and in ministry myself God has shown up in big ways in my life and in those around me. I’ve been following God since I was 3 years old; I always had a soft heart toward him and a strong faith in Him. But somewhere along the line I think maybe I began to hold a smaller view of God. Maybe time and hurtful situations and life just wore me down, maybe I became focused on the wrong things, I don’t know. But that Sunday the tears just kept coming. I was overwhelmed with the bigness of God. I was humbled at His bigness and how he had shown up in my life.
It is often said that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. I disagree. What would we need a big God for if our problems were so small that we could handle them on our own? I think God does give you more than you can handle, because if we could handle it, why would we need God?
God gives us more than we can handle so that we have to rely on Him, rely on Him to come through for us, to get us through, or to handle it for us, if we could handle it all and be strong enough for it all, we’d be God.
Maybe the more we try to handle and rely on ourselves, the harder things have to get in order for us to finally turn to God and trust him instead of ourselves.
2007 was a year of way more than I could handle. But nothing that God and I together couldn’t get through.
Last year I was deeply affected by the pain that my loved ones went through. My father in law had a stroke, my former professor and mentor died of cancer, my sister in law’s mother died unexpectedly, my brother in law’s best friend died in an accident, my former student was brutally murdered at 15 years old, and my grandfather suffered most of the year with cancer and then he passed away at the end of September. All year long I was confronted with these tragedies and grieved over them. My father in law has had a miraculous recovery and is now doing very well, and the lives that were lost this year brought many of those still living closer together. God is bigger than sickness and death.
I have long had a desire for deep community. I have experienced some of it in my life but last year the desire to be really deeply committed to a community arose in me so much that I couldn’t stand it. God began to reveal things to me about the direction of our family in that area and I became so unsettled and unsatisfied until I could see that come to fruition. While I waited for God to reveal the same thing to my husband, I cried and cried and prayed and prayed and waited and waited. In October God placed us in the perfect life group for us and the intimacy and community that has flourished in the last 4 months leaves me speechless. God answered my prayer. God is bigger than my needs and desires.
The last two years have been a roller coaster ride when it comes to our income. I’m mostly a stay a home mom and my husband has mostly been self-employed and there has not always been work. In the fall we went 2 months without an income- but God showed up and somehow- we never went hungry. We are stepping out in faith now in a ministry as we start a mission’s camp. As we live day-by-day in faith God is providing. God is bigger than our checkbook.
In 2007 I fell into a deep pit of depression. I remember vividly the Sunday morning when they showed the video clip from The Village of the girl who was in the pit and couldn’t get out. I wept and wept because I was that girl. I was in a pit so deep and every time I thought I might get out I would get sucked back down in an instant. I was reaching for God to rescue me; I was crying out God why have you forsaken me, God where are you? When will you come for me? I waited and I waited and I waited. Just in the last month God has given me real victory over depression. He has broken it off of me. God is bigger than my depression.
My marriage has never been perfect. Last year was one that would make or break us. I had been crying out to God for years for some things to change in my marriage. This year it was gut wrenching crying out to God, I felt completely helpless as I surrendered it to God. There was a wall so thick and strong between us that we were both shouting at it and neither of us could hear or see one another through it. Then God spoke- and the wall crumbled to the ground and we saw each other and we began the journey of redemption and restoration. It did not come wrapped in a pretty box, it was an ugly, painful box that I did not ask for, but inside was the deep answer to prayer I had longed for. Our relationship is better than it’s ever been. God is bigger than the walls we build.
My recent journey with God has taken me to deeper places with Him. To places where I hear His voice clearer and am more willing to obey. To places where I am once again assured that His heart toward me is Good.
I don’t know why God doesn’t always answer prayers; I don’t know why sometimes he waits so long to answer them; I don’t know why sometimes he answers them in ways we can’t understand. People I loved still died. Hard times still came. I have many prayers he has not answered. I still face trials and there are mountains left to climb.
But I know without a doubt that God is BIG.
God is bigger than grief,
He is bigger than doubt,
Bigger than my wallet,
Bigger than depression,
Bigger than the walls we build,
God is bigger than our pain,
Bigger than our mistakes,
Bigger than our confusion,
Bigger than our fear,
Bigger than our sin,
Bigger than the sins committed against us.
God is bigger than our inability to understand His Bigness.
God is bigger.
“My God is so big, so strong, and so mighty there’s nothing my God cannot do.”
