Courageous Hope

Any area of your life that does not glisten with hope is under the influence of a lie.

The School of Love May 31, 2011

Filed under: Parenting,Relationships — Shayla @ Courageous Hope @ 12:43 am
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I have found the journey of parenthood to be the ultimate training on how to love.

The priority of God’s Kingdom, the ultimate greatest commandments are to love God and love people. The entire message of the Gospel all comes down to LOVE.

Often we hear that and are convicted to live out more compassionate lives of service. To love the “least of these”, to love the “unloveable”. I feel I have done that throughout my life and encouraged others to do the same as we ran our missions camp reaching out, showing love in practical ways. It is always a powerful experience to love this way, it is always a hint of heaven touching earth when we express God’s love to others through service.  This is our call if we follow Jesus, to love those in need by meeting their needs.

Yet, in some ways it seems to me to be easier to show love to strangers, to show love to those less fortunate.  The hardest ones to love… are those you brush up against every single day.  I find that much more is required of us to always put others before ourselves and honor and love those around us every minute of every day. Maybe it’s the husband who doesn’t put his clothes in the hamper, or maybe the cubicle partner you sit next to every day at the office who smacks his gum in such a way you’d swear it was nails on a chalkboard, or maybe it’s the child who throws his food at every single meal, or the other child who can’t seem to find her shoes. Ever!  Yes, these are the moments, the opportunities to learn to really love.  This is the hard work of love.

Now of course I have an overwhelming love in my heart for my children. But to demonstrate and live that love out  in the everyday… those moments when all I feel is impatience towards one of them?  The very first line used to describe love in the infamous 13th chapter of First Corinthians says “Love is patient…”  oh but I am far from it!  And how then can I claim to love?

It goes on to say that “Love is not self-seeking” either and while I love the time I have with my children…. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t pine away for a moment I might just eat a meal in peace or have a complete thought.  Parenthood is the ultimate training in selflessness. The ultimate experience of constantly putting the needs of others first. Parenthood grows us up into more loving and giving people. It transforms us into vessels God’s love can pour out of.

There are things I know God has called me to do. I am also very aware that there are seasons to our lives and the season in which I currently find myself is not the season for those things. There are moments I find myself wondering why I am not off doing some grandiose expression of God’s love to the world. Something of lasting impact for the kingdom. Something important and significant.

And then I realize that I am.  That I am a student in the school of learning to love God’s way. For in learning to love in all circumstances, at all times, I learn to manifest God’s love to my children. Daily praying that I can model the love Father God has for them. Through parenthood I am being trained to love God’s people in a more patient and selfless way that will manifest the heart of Father God for all His children. These little ones entrusted to me are world changers… it is in their DNA and I am charged with the mission to foster and grow that within them by leading them into the heart of God and into their destinies as loved children that will have a lasting impact on God’s kingdom. They will be agents of God’s love to the world.  It starts with me loving them by the Grace of God, allowing God’s love to flow through me even when they throw tantrums or lose their shoes for the 14th time that day.

1 Corinthians 13:3-7 (Amplified Bible)

3Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to be burned or [a] in order that I may glory, but have not love (God’s love in me), I gain nothing.

4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

6It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

7Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

 

A discipline in pleasure and an education in gratitude May 9, 2011

Filed under: Gratitude,Hope,Life — Shayla @ Courageous Hope @ 10:47 pm
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A friend turned me on to this quote recently and I have not been able to get it out of my mind:

“The fact is that purification and austerity are even more necessary for the appreciation of life and laughter than for anything else. To let no bird fly past unnoticed, to spell patiently the stones and weeds, to have the mind a storehouse of sunsets, requires a discipline in pleasure and an education in gratitude.” ~G.K. Chesterton

a discipline in pleasure….

an education in gratitude….

That is the journey I had been on…. Learning to document life’s gifts.  (To know more about that journey read the “gratitude” category on my blog).

But these last few weeks of my life have been teetering on the edge of complete insanity. Days whirling by in flurries of tasks, obligations, deep disappointments, grand celebrations, frustrating events, divine opportunities and many extra things on an already full plate.

Tired, I stopped writing down the gifts but I still noticed them.

Exhausted, I began to notice less and less.

Overwhelmed, I lost complete sight of the gifts…

but had eyes wide open to all that was wrong, frustrating, disturbing, unfair and inadequate.  My heart that had stretched so full in gratitude had shrunk down to a small stone of hard angst that threatened the life and laughter of my family.

just. that. fast.

I am becoming more and more convinced that the enemy  of our hearts does most of his dirty work of destroying us when we are busy, or tired.

I realized how horrible I felt and made the connection…. I stopped thanking Him… I stopped noticing all the little and big ways He was wooing me, smiling on me, giving me what I need.  Me thanking Him, Me noticing… it is good for me, it gives me His eyes, heavenly eyes, heavenly perspective.


The scriptures tell us that minds set on the things of this world  will choke the life out of us. Thinking on the things of this world leads to nothing but death. The worry of the things of this world bear no fruit. But minds set on the spirit, minds set on heaven’s perspective give life and peace and power and hope and JOY!


Noticing His gifts, noticing all we have to be grateful for is seeing with heavenly eyes. 


Something that helped snap me out of my relapse into “negative land” was one morning I woke up praying for a friend of mine. I spent all morning in and out of prayer for her. All of the sudden I noticed something. The weight of that stony anxious, frustrated heart was gone.

just. that. fast.

I felt completely released of all the yuckiness I had been carrying. Not one circumstance in my life had changed or even improved. But my heart had expanded again getting back to where I knew I belonged.

And then I realized the sneaky evil ways the enemy had sucked me into my own problems, my own woes, so that I was completely useless to help my friend, to love my children well, to love my husband well. Selfishness and ingratitude had robbed me and those I love of LIFE.


So here I am again adding to my list because adding to my list helps me to get back to the actual living of this life instead of surviving it. Because I want to live this life to all its fullness, all its abundance. I want to suck the marrow out of this life and not miss anything. Not miss one single beautiful thing that God brings to me. Adding to my list helps me to celebrate this life. I love what Shauna Niequist says in her book Cold Tangerines:

“I believe in a life of celebration. I believe that the world we wake up to every day is filled to the brim with deep, aching love, and also with hatred and sadness. And I know which one of those I want to win in the end. I want to celebrate in the face of despair, dance when all we see on the horizon is doom……when (Death) comes for me, I want to be full-tilt, wide-open, caught in the very act of life. I think that’s what we’re here for, not for a passive, peaceful life, but to stand up in the face of all that lacks peace and demand more….. God gives us something amazing when he gives us life, and I want to live with gratitude……It’s rebellious, in a way, to choose joy, to choose to dance, to choose to love your life. It’s much easier and much more common to be miserable…….I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes…….I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.…..Because we were made for motion, for arching up toward God with all the energy and passion of a thunderstorm, lightning slicing through a sleepy world to remind us that we serve a fast-dancing God, a God who set this world whirling……Let’s sizzle and pop in his name. Let’s dance and shimmer and scrawl out our stories across the sky, like he taught us to. Let’s echo his words, and let our lives speak those words: It is good.”

My list of “it is good” for this week: 101 to 115

  • Sunshine
  • Spontaneous fun days with friends
  • My children’s laughter
  • My sons facial expressions that bring laughter to anyone who sees them.
  • Cool breezes
  • Wildflower bouquets
  • Strong smelling roses
  • Jasmine blowing in the breeze.
  • Divine appointments
  • A mother who nurtured, loved & guided me into who I’ve become.
  • A mother in law who sowed into my husband and now sows into me and my children her joy and great faith.
  • Two grandmothers who are still living. Who spread love and joy wherever they go and have given me such a rich heritage.
  • For friends who have mothered me along the way and those who have helped me in my motherhood journey.
  • That the two most amazing and beautiful children I know call me “mama”.
  • I am beyond blessed and so rich in family and friendships.

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