Courageous Hope

Any area of your life that does not glisten with hope is under the influence of a lie.

Superbowl, Sex Trafficking, & Stopping For The One February 23, 2013

Filed under: Life,Supernatural Living,Women's Issues — Shayla @ Courageous Hope @ 9:59 pm
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IMG_0718 IMG_0671 End It MovementWhile for most Americans The Superbowl is a fun tradition, it is also commonly known as one of the biggest days of the year for commercial sexual exploitation (CSE). I had the incredible opportunity to join with some of the key leaders in the Atlanta area that are rescuing and rehabilitating victims of CSE and sex trafficking on a mission trip to New Orleans on Superbowl weekend. Our Atlanta group joined forces with organizations currently serving New Orleans for raising awareness and doing outreach. Even though the opportunity came to me at the last-minute I knew I was supposed to go. I think what initially drew me, aside from my growing passion for this issue, was just knowing that we were going to walk right straight into the darkest places and bring light. We were going to go into places saturated with perverted sex and instead we would saturate it with purest Love. We were going to enter places most religious people think you should stay away from. I love the quote from Mick Mooney, “A heart full of love reaches into places that a head full of doctrines never will.” That is what we did in New Orleans. We loved loved loved. It was really fun walking in the thick of it and releasing the Kingdom of Heaven!

The first amazing thing that happened was that through the amazing generosity of people in my life I was able to go on this trip last-minute and all my expenses were paid including childcare for my children so that I could be away. I am humbled and grateful for that opportunity. Thank you to those that supported me financially and through prayer on this trip!

With it’s bright colors, inspiring architecture and beckoning balconies the French Quarter of New Orleans has this Southern charm and historical appeal that draws you in. Music, often jazz, fills the air, artists paint and create on the streets, smells of chicory, jambalaya and beignets mingle together and I take it all in and I just love this place! There was a celebratory spirit and excitement in the air as so many fans were there just to celebrate their team making it to the big game. And then as you enter the areas where the bars and strip clubs gather, there right in the daylight or the nightlight, you find women and girls standing in doorways or windows wearing just strings of clothing leaving nothing to the imagination. Offered on display for examination they were just another product for consumption on Bourbon Street. These women were for sale. It’s disturbing to think about how in this very same city, many years ago, African slaves stood upon the docks for would-be-purchasers to examine the product. But this particular violation of human rights we see now does not discriminate by color. Perhaps not all these women have been trafficked, perhaps they are not all under the captivity of a pimp, but if sex is for sale and the objectification of the female body is rampant…you can be sure there is trafficking nearby.

“Sexual exploitation makes up 79% of identified forms of human trafficking, including prostitution, forced stripping, massage services, and pornography.” (United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, Global Initiative to Fight Human Trafficking, 2009)

The moon rose and the night grew darker and the crowd grew suffocatingly thick and intoxicated. The tasty smells were overtaken by the stench of alcohol, urine and trash. I simultaneously felt joy in my heart for the love I was there to release and the groaning cries within my spirit of the Father’s heart break for these His children. My heart was gripped with love, with compassion and with a holy discontent with how easily our culture accepts this violation of humanity and settles for such a cheap imitation of pleasure and love.

So much of what we were there to do felt almost like “secret agent” work in a way…keeping our eyes and ears open for signs of trafficking and people who might need our help. Blending in with the crowd but with a secret mission :-) . The secret agents whom we joined to fight this battle with were so phenomenal and restore my hope in so many ways. Each person on this team came from a different background and a variety of organizations but all there with one cause: To end sex trafficking and exploitation and to love people. It was an honor to be with them all and I was so moved by their huge and radical hearts. Together we faced some challenges and had to be flexible but everyone there was so amazing!

The first morning in worship before we went out I had a vision. I saw Jesus with his heart/chest ripped open
before me and I felt like he was inviting me into his heart and he was giving me his heart. Then he proceeded to cover and smear me with this gooey liquid stuff. The substance was like honey, thick and sticky. I felt like it represented His love and His heart for His people. Then I saw myself walking down the streets of New Orleans and everywhere I went I left some of this sticky substance, every person I touched I left a little bit of this sticky stuff on them. So from the beginning of the trip I felt as though my mission was to just let that sticky love of Jesus get everywhere. Love is my mission. I was reminded of Mother Teresa’s quote about how we can’t always do great things, but we can do small things with great love. This issue of sex trafficking feels so large and overwhelming and with all that was happening in New Orleans it seemed too large to take on. But we can do small things with great love and it will still have an impact. I had just finished reading Heidi Baker’s book Always Enough right before this trip and I was constantly reminded of her philosophy of “stop for the one” in front of you in that moment. So that was my mandate for the weekend: Wherever I found myself I would stop for the one in my path and release as much sticky love as possible! And that is exactly what I did! I know that each person I encountered also encountered the Father’s love.

The main activities of our trip included Awareness, Outreach, Strip Club Outreach and Call Center Outreach.

Awareness-
While there were various organizations there, for this event we all partnered with the End It Movement in our awareness efforts. During the day we walked around and handed out flyers and talked to as many people as we could to make them more aware of the issue of human sex trafficking. We shared cards with signs that someone is being trafficked and hotlines for people to call etc. A few neat things that happened regarding this was that we were able to meet Anna Faris, (a famous comedic actress) and we told her what we were doing she was so excited and interested and she took some of the End It materials we had. Someone from our group also had the chance to make an announcement at an outdoor show and we were able to hand out flyers there as well. Each time we went out and did awareness we were also doing prayer walks and I stopped and prayed for several people each day. As I think about it now I can see how much my boldness had grown over this last year, I had almost zero hesitation as I approached anyone I felt I should pray for or talk to. Each person was impacted by the prayers we prayed and they felt God’s love. One morning we did a specific prayer walk with multiple organizations in the city. I couldn’t help but smile as we walked and prayed, knowing how powerful our prayers were!

One neat story that happened one day was that Hollye and I were able to pray with a blind man to receive his sight. He was not completely healed but he said he did see more light, but that he saw more with the eyes of his heart now than he did before. He was so moved that we would stop and pray for him. He knew God and actually sat us down and preached to us some pretty amazing stuff! It was a really sweet encounter with this man as we just released love over him.

Outreach
At night we would walk the intensely crowded streets of the French Quarter. As I mentioned we would “stop for the one” so there were several instances of praying with people. I had a few neat encounters with women where I was able to pray with them and prophecy to them good things over their life. One woman I met kept hugging me and crying and saying that her meeting me was not a coincidence…I of course agreed with her! I said, “Oh no it’s not a coincidence! God wanted to love on you tonight!” I was also able to talk with and pray for a dancer who was on her break outside a club and that was also another divine appointment. I know I probably won’t know the impact these moments had but I know that these women were deeply moved and felt loved and accepted.

I heard that another group during the weekend encountered a woman who was being trafficked and wanted to go back home. The group immediately got her a bus ticket home! I wasn’t involved with that so I don’t know all the details but I think that is pretty awesome!!!!

Strip Club Outreach
One of the people involved with our trip was Kacey a woman who is a former stripper and now runs a ministry called 4 Sara that seeks to help women get out of the lifestyle. Through her organization we went into several strip clubs and talked to some of the women there and just loved on them. We were able to give them gift bags of goodies and also hand out her cards to girls in case they ever want to reach out and get out of the lifestyle. One neat testimony from that is that one of the girls on our trip met a girl in the club that is actually from Atlanta and just goes to New Orleans on the weekends for work. So she was able to make a connection with her for the future and we are praying that friendship deepens.

Call Center Outreach
Our group did an outreach where we would call ads listing sex for sale and then just try to get an opportunity to talk with the girl and see if she has any interest in trying to get out of that lifestyle or if she is doing ok etc.. There were a wide variety of responses to this, some of course hung up etc.. However there were several who made solid connections and a few said that yes they wanted out and we were able to connect them with 4 Sara for the next step in that process!

Something very neat that we did one night was that we did a prayer drive through the 9th Ward. (The 9th Ward was hardest hit by Katrina and is one of the poorest areas, there is known to be some trafficking there as well, but it is just a very dark and oppressed area). We split up into a few different cars and drove around and just prayed for the area, we went down the same streets over and over just praying and interceeding over the neighborhood and the people in it declaring God’s goodness and love and that heaven would come to the 9th Ward. As we were driving around I was just so struck by the beauty of what was going on and the great pleasure that the Father had with what was happening. What was so beautiful about this to me was the fact that no one knew we were doing it, there was no way to measure what we were doing, no credit given, no way to know if our prayers were answered or how effective it was. It was a group of people just pouring themselves out for the un-seen Kingdom. I really was very moved to be a part of something so special.

Something I wanted to do on this trip was to get a chance to pay for some time with a girl and just take her out to eat and minister love to her. I did not get a chance to do that for a variety of reasons but it’s ok.

We walked and walked and walked day and late into the night and I know with each step we left a lot of sticky love, hope and light on people and on the streets of New Orleans. I could honestly write more on this trip nad on this topic and I know I will. Stay tuned.

“You may choose to look the other way but you can never say again that you did not know.” ― William Wilberforce

If you are moved to learn more or do more or pray more regarding the issue of sex trafficking, I encourage you to start by watching the film Nefarious: Merchant of Souls http://nefariousdocumentary.com/

“If to be feelingly alive to the sufferings of my fellow-creatures is to be a fanatic, I am one of the most incurable fanatics ever permitted to be at large.” —William Wilberforce

 

What The World Needs Now December 16, 2012

Filed under: Hope,Life,Parenting,Spirituality,Supernatural Living — Shayla @ Courageous Hope @ 10:56 pm
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Many people have been asking “why?” in regards to the tragic events that took the lives of innocent young children and some of their teachers in Connecticut.

 

Why?

 

I think one reason is that hurt people hurt people.

 

When I used to hear news like this I was all the more motivated to find the quickest way to the mountains and my dream hippy commune where we eat from the garden every day and enjoy group hugs around the campfire each night. I still do think that could be swell…

 

But that is not my response this time….

 

I am a parent. My daughter is the same age…6… of most of those 20 children brutally murdered. I am deeply saddened for these parents and their tremendous loss.

 

But my response is not to cower in fear and grab my children and huddle them up in my dream hippie commune away from all danger, anger, and fear.

 

My response is that I am more motivated to love the living evil right out of this earth.

 

I cannot fathom sitting around my blissful campfire growing more obese as a glutton of the goodness, the hope, the glory, freedom and LOVE I feed off of as a child of the King.  No I cannot keep all that to myself.  Rather I must share that with the hungry, starving world.

 

I serve as a volunteer in one of the roughest areas of Atlanta as we seek to end sex trafficking in one specific neighborhood. On that outreach recently some of my co-volunteers encountered  a man they were able to share God’s love with. For quite some time they spoke destiny and life to him, at one point he reached in and pulled out a gun. Then he emptied the bullets and placed them in the hand of my friend and said, “Here…I was planning to go and shoot everyone in my work tonight because I was just so angry. But now…I can’t do that anymore.”  Lives that would have been lost in a senseless tragedy were saved just by some strangers showing love and life to an angry, confused young man.  5 bullets were given to my friend that night. 5 bullets that would have been used to end lives are now a testimony of the power of Love.

 

Oh how my heart breaks that there was not someone to stop this Sandy Hook shooter in the same way. I know God’s heart breaks over that too. But can you imagine how many tragedies could be prevented just by simply going into the ugly places and bringing beauty? Going into the darkness and bringing light? Going into the hate and bringing love? Reaching out to the loners and loving them?  Love is the answer. I am the answer. You are the answer.  What if we lived like it?

 

People often say “where is God?” in times like this. Well, I say He is inside of me, He is inside of you and so is His Love.

 

So where are we?

 

What are we going to do about it?

 

God grieves with these families. He did not take these beautiful lives. But I know He welcomed them with open arms.

 

I know the issue is complicated. I know we need to care for the mentally ill and we need to have more security etc…But I think maybe I am naive enough to believe that the answer could be as simple as LOVE.

 

Love that suffocates murder and breathes life. Love that drowns despair and births hope. Love that comforts those who mourn. Love that binds the broken-hearted.  Broken people break others. Hurt people hurt others.  But people who are consumed by Love…well they love others.  Not just around the campfire at their safe community. But they love the dirty, the broken, the hurting, the weird, and the angry. Those consumed by Love…love. Love is the agenda of Heaven to heal the broken-hearted and to set captives free, to bring joy to those who mourn.

 

Love is the answer now more than ever.

 

The heart is where home is October 2, 2012

Filed under: Hope,Life,Marriage,Parenting,Supernatural Living,Uncategorized — Shayla @ Courageous Hope @ 3:48 pm

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One year ago yesterday we handed over the keys of the home we had lived in for eight years to its new tenants. It was the first and only house we ever purchased!  It was the house I lived in longer than any house in my entire life. I remember that day one year ago, as I finished the last bit of cleaning and the new tenants walked around the house, all the thoughts that flooded my mind….

I wondered if they knew all that this place was?

Did they know this was the beat up tiny little house we bought and loved on and built on and renovated on to create the larger, nicer, newer and more beautiful home it is today?

Did they know that it was in this house that our own character was loved on, built on and renovated on to make us greater and more beautiful than who we were when we moved in?

I remember that day one year ago I walked around the house wondering if they would know and appreciate that:

This house has seen battles that have ended in defeat and in victory.

This was the dining room that saw many feasts with family and friends.

It was in this living room that friends gathered in prayer and communion.

These walls held the moments where deep friendships and community was forged.

I wondered if they would know that it was in this house that our marriage fell apart….

and God put it back together again.

In this house our children were made, birthed and nurtured.

This is the hallway I paced through the night with a colicky baby.

These are the floors that held up my childrens’ first steps.

This was the corner my babies were rocked and rocked and rocked and rocked.

Inside this place dreams were dreamed and realized.

Things were both broken and restored here.

It was in this house that we learned to hope courageously and this house was the launching pad of faith taking flight.

Exactly one year ago yesterday we packed everything we owned into a moving truck and headed north, into the complete unknown. The unknown has proved both challenging and delightfully surprising. It has been a year of transition. It has been a year of seeing God’s faithfulness over and over. We spent 7 months in a temporary home and 3 months being “homeless” and living with various friends. Finally these last two months we have been in a long term house of our own.

What I have come to know more deeply in my heart is the truth that a house is not a home. That I am a home and my family is a home. That we are a home for love. For God’s love and for the love we share as a family. We are a home to the memories and life that is created within and around us. That a home is not necessarily a place to rest, but that I am a place for peace to rest, for joy to rest, for God to rest within me.

What I have realized over the last year without that house…is that I am that house. That each line on my face or scar on my skin is a testimony of the faithfulness of God. That I am the beauty that came from the ashes. That I have the authority over each valley and each mountain of my life. That I am a home to all these memories, these failures, these successes and victories.  That I am a home for love.  That I do not live in a house, I live in Christ and Christ lives in me. That my home is the presence of God and the presence of God finds a home in me.

They say home is where the heart is…but maybe our heart is where home is….

 

What if? September 20, 2011

Filed under: Hope,Life,Supernatural Living — Shayla @ Courageous Hope @ 10:27 am
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What If?

 

What if we stopped living our lives in safe little boxes?

 

What if we stopped putting our hope in nest eggs?

and 401k’s

and stable jobs

and good real estate

and contingency plans

and people?

 

What if we stopped putting our God in safe little boxes?

 

What if we stopped living a life that was natural and replaced it with a supernatural life?

 

What if we stopped living with expectations that are within our own limitations and instead lived with expectations without limit?

 

What if we got to the edge of the cliff… and we jumped off…

not into a safety net,

just into God’s big capable hands?

 

What if we stopped doing “church” in a way that works whether there is a God or not?

 

What if we stopped living our life in such a way that works whether there is a God or not?

 

What if we stopped worshipping a God that looks like us,

that we can understand and figure out

and instead started worshipping a God that is full of mystery and power and incomprehensible love?

 

What if we started walking with God instead of asking Him to walk with us?

 

What if we were completely surrendered and totally abandoned to Jesus’ work and call in our life? With no regard to the cost?

 

What if the things of this earth really did grow dim…in the light of His Glory and Grace?

 

What if?

 

Somewhere in between August 20, 2011

Filed under: Hope,Life,Supernatural Living — Shayla @ Courageous Hope @ 9:12 am
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I am in transition.

 

We are getting ready to move our little family of four out of state. Many unknowns still lie ahead as we step out in faith. We are confident, excited and full of hope. But there are occasional moments when all the unknowns, the tense pressures and the shifting of my life begin to bear down intense weight on my mind and I feel my head spin out of control and everything seems crazy….

 

I am not here.

 

But I am not there.

 

I am somewhere in between.

 

It’s a familiar feeling…when have I felt this before?

 

When have I felt as if I was splitting in two from the pressure and I could not even see straight and everything was blurry?

 

Oh I remember now…..when I was in…transition………….during…..childbirth!

 

When the baby was not quite in my womb

 

And not out into my arms

 

But somewhere in between.

 

God led us to choose natural, midwife assisted home births for the births of our children and so having experienced natural birth I can attest that transition in childbirth is the hardest part. In my Bradley (“Husband Coached”) Childbirth method class workbook it describes transition by saying things like –

 

Sensations change greatly often causing panic, disbelief, and fear. You may feel the baby shifting into alignment, a lot of pressure…may feel frantic, confused, self-doubt, unsure, scared, nervous, may give up, may yell.

 

So the women you see in the movies, screaming like wild banshees and going totally berserk? That is not labor, that is TRANSITION, which is the mountain peak of pain and intensity of the labor. Transition is the short, but head-spinning, body-splitting time right before the baby comes. Once you feel that crazy, once you feel like you just can’t do it…it’s almost over, your baby will soon be in your arms!

 

I believe that God teaches us spiritual things through the natural things, the natural reflects the supernatural.  As I navigate through this life transition I recall all that I learned through the physical experience of transition.

 

What we know for sure…transition is HARD!!

 

With my first child’s birth I remember when I was in transition, I began to doubt. Doubt my ability, doubt that everything would turn out ok. I thought to myself, “if this is not transition then I sure don’t want to experience what is” (thankfully it was).  In the birth of my second child I felt so completely out of control. I wanted it over! My son was barreling through transition, shifting my body at an intense rate and I could not even see straight. Then my husband whispered in my ear “just focus on the midwife”. She was right in front of me and I opened my eyes and I just fixed my eyes on hers and everything around her began to swirl into a blur and all I could see were her eyes. I just listened to what she and my husband said.

 

I love the idea of “husband-coached childbirth” as it applies to this analogy of comparing it to our life transitions. If Jesus is our “husband” we focus on his voice, on his direction. We look him in the eyes; keep our focus on him and all the rest grows strangely dim. We must set our face like flint on Jesus’ face to stabilize when everything feels out of control.

 

If we are to embrace transition and allow the shifting necessary to make room for the new life coming, we must rest. As a woman relaxes during labor her body can do the work. We can enter into God’s rest and peace in the midst of the pain and tension of transition as we surrender to the process. This is the hardest thing for me, I want to hurry my way through a transition to get to the other side, but rest makes me feel I am slowing it down, when in fact it is doing the opposite. Rest allows Holy Spirit to breathe his work into us as we are transitioning.

 

One of the best things for a woman in labor during transition is to have very little to no distractions; women often have need for quiet and deep concentration. Distraction can often cause more pain and prolong the transition process.  How much so can we apply this to our lives, to get rid of distractions during these times we are transitioning? Getting rid of distractions enables us to focus on the one thing that will get us through this transition…His face.

 

When a mother is in transition she doubts herself and her ability. She needs people around her to remind her of who she is, that she can do this, that she will do this. People who remind her of her identity, her strengths, remind her of the truth and promises of God.   Something I say to every mom who doubts is “You can do this! You were made for this!” During transitions we must surround ourselves with the truth and people of truth. People who speak our identity and call us into our destiny.

 

Another thing we can learn is that there is hope! The pain of transition is not in vain, but rather the expectation of the child to come, despite the pain, childbirth is full of hope. Transition is not for nothing! The other side of transition in labor is a beautiful baby! Childbirth is a beautiful, hopeful, life changing moment.  Likewise the other side of our life transitions will bring us new life, so there is hope now in the midst of this transition. Transition is beautiful.

 

Our current transition started over a year ago. We began to sense it coming, we felt the shift within our life group, we thought it was our families, or our group. And things did shift within those families and within that group. But then my husband and I began to travel and see that transition was everywhere. Transition is happening to so very many all over. Transition is happening in the body of Christ. This is so much bigger than all the individual transitions that are going on. Holy Spirit is moving and shifting people and places… as one body we are shifting, we are in transition…and what are we in transition to? On some level the people of God are in a lifestyle of transition, always transforming, as scripture says, from glory to glory. We live in the now and the not yet. We are not really on earth, nor are we in heaven…we are somewhere in between…we are on a ladder bringing heaven to earth. But beyond that, Holy Spirit is shifting people to new places and new roles and new levels to make ready His body for the move He will do. I believe ultimately what is going to be birthed out of this transition is the pure, spotless and beautiful bride of Christ.  As Romans 8 declares that all creation is groaning in eager expectation as in childbirth for the children of God to be revealed, for the bride to be unveiled. If all of creation has been groaning all of this time in labor, then perhaps now is the transition of that labor. (I also wrote a little about this in my Hope Groans post.)

 

In the beautiful place that is somewhere in between,
Surrendering to the process we find ourselves in,
Entering into the rest of God,
Eyes fixed like flint on Jesus’ face,
Clearing away the distractions,
Surrounding ourselves with truth and truth speakers who call out our true identity
And clinging to HOPE,
We will make it through this transition to the new life that awaits us.

 

A discipline in pleasure and an education in gratitude May 9, 2011

Filed under: Gratitude,Hope,Life — Shayla @ Courageous Hope @ 10:47 pm
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A friend turned me on to this quote recently and I have not been able to get it out of my mind:

“The fact is that purification and austerity are even more necessary for the appreciation of life and laughter than for anything else. To let no bird fly past unnoticed, to spell patiently the stones and weeds, to have the mind a storehouse of sunsets, requires a discipline in pleasure and an education in gratitude.” ~G.K. Chesterton

a discipline in pleasure….

an education in gratitude….

That is the journey I had been on…. Learning to document life’s gifts.  (To know more about that journey read the “gratitude” category on my blog).

But these last few weeks of my life have been teetering on the edge of complete insanity. Days whirling by in flurries of tasks, obligations, deep disappointments, grand celebrations, frustrating events, divine opportunities and many extra things on an already full plate.

Tired, I stopped writing down the gifts but I still noticed them.

Exhausted, I began to notice less and less.

Overwhelmed, I lost complete sight of the gifts…

but had eyes wide open to all that was wrong, frustrating, disturbing, unfair and inadequate.  My heart that had stretched so full in gratitude had shrunk down to a small stone of hard angst that threatened the life and laughter of my family.

just. that. fast.

I am becoming more and more convinced that the enemy  of our hearts does most of his dirty work of destroying us when we are busy, or tired.

I realized how horrible I felt and made the connection…. I stopped thanking Him… I stopped noticing all the little and big ways He was wooing me, smiling on me, giving me what I need.  Me thanking Him, Me noticing… it is good for me, it gives me His eyes, heavenly eyes, heavenly perspective.


The scriptures tell us that minds set on the things of this world  will choke the life out of us. Thinking on the things of this world leads to nothing but death. The worry of the things of this world bear no fruit. But minds set on the spirit, minds set on heaven’s perspective give life and peace and power and hope and JOY!


Noticing His gifts, noticing all we have to be grateful for is seeing with heavenly eyes. 


Something that helped snap me out of my relapse into “negative land” was one morning I woke up praying for a friend of mine. I spent all morning in and out of prayer for her. All of the sudden I noticed something. The weight of that stony anxious, frustrated heart was gone.

just. that. fast.

I felt completely released of all the yuckiness I had been carrying. Not one circumstance in my life had changed or even improved. But my heart had expanded again getting back to where I knew I belonged.

And then I realized the sneaky evil ways the enemy had sucked me into my own problems, my own woes, so that I was completely useless to help my friend, to love my children well, to love my husband well. Selfishness and ingratitude had robbed me and those I love of LIFE.


So here I am again adding to my list because adding to my list helps me to get back to the actual living of this life instead of surviving it. Because I want to live this life to all its fullness, all its abundance. I want to suck the marrow out of this life and not miss anything. Not miss one single beautiful thing that God brings to me. Adding to my list helps me to celebrate this life. I love what Shauna Niequist says in her book Cold Tangerines:

“I believe in a life of celebration. I believe that the world we wake up to every day is filled to the brim with deep, aching love, and also with hatred and sadness. And I know which one of those I want to win in the end. I want to celebrate in the face of despair, dance when all we see on the horizon is doom……when (Death) comes for me, I want to be full-tilt, wide-open, caught in the very act of life. I think that’s what we’re here for, not for a passive, peaceful life, but to stand up in the face of all that lacks peace and demand more….. God gives us something amazing when he gives us life, and I want to live with gratitude……It’s rebellious, in a way, to choose joy, to choose to dance, to choose to love your life. It’s much easier and much more common to be miserable…….I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes…….I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.…..Because we were made for motion, for arching up toward God with all the energy and passion of a thunderstorm, lightning slicing through a sleepy world to remind us that we serve a fast-dancing God, a God who set this world whirling……Let’s sizzle and pop in his name. Let’s dance and shimmer and scrawl out our stories across the sky, like he taught us to. Let’s echo his words, and let our lives speak those words: It is good.”

My list of “it is good” for this week: 101 to 115

  • Sunshine
  • Spontaneous fun days with friends
  • My children’s laughter
  • My sons facial expressions that bring laughter to anyone who sees them.
  • Cool breezes
  • Wildflower bouquets
  • Strong smelling roses
  • Jasmine blowing in the breeze.
  • Divine appointments
  • A mother who nurtured, loved & guided me into who I’ve become.
  • A mother in law who sowed into my husband and now sows into me and my children her joy and great faith.
  • Two grandmothers who are still living. Who spread love and joy wherever they go and have given me such a rich heritage.
  • For friends who have mothered me along the way and those who have helped me in my motherhood journey.
  • That the two most amazing and beautiful children I know call me “mama”.
  • I am beyond blessed and so rich in family and friendships.

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Mark Mayer – A man of courageous hope April 10, 2011

Filed under: Hope,Life,Supernatural Living — Shayla @ Courageous Hope @ 8:48 am
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One year ago today I got a phone call that felt like someone had just punched me right in the gut.  “Mark died this morning.” She said.  I was stunned. It took a while for it to sink in because this was not the outcome I had expected.

 

Mark had kidney cancer that went crazy and took over his body. He battled for nearly two years with this evil stuff.

 

Mark fought his battle fiercely and with courageous hope.  There really isn’t any other way to have hope other than the courageous kind.  Mark was the epitome of a man with courageous hope.


One of Mark’s lifetime slogans was from the film Braveheart.

“Every man dies, but not every man Really Lives”

 

Mark was a man who truly LIVED. During the last several months of his life, Mark decided that this cancer was from the devil and not from God. (Because cancer is most definitely from the devil). He decided that God wanted to heal him and he began to seek God.  During the course of seeking God as if his life depended on it, Mark re-discovered who his Jesus was and that his Jesus had died not just for his sins but for his disease and that Jesus wanted to heal Mark.  In his search for healing of his body Mark found a healing for his heart and soul, which led him to a deeper love relationship with God that transformed him.  Mark realized that he had a role in partnering with God to see God’s will done and His kingdom come.

 

In what some people thought might have been foolish or unnecessary Mark went in search of where God was moving and he went there to be a part of the move God was doing. It brought him to healing school in Miami, to Bethel Church in Redding California and to International House of Prayer in Kansas City.  At each location Mark had radical encounters with God and healing prayer.  He would bring all he could back to us here. There was a group of us who had been hungry for God, hungry to see God move, seeking to abandon a powerless brand of Christianity for a powerful one. Mark was paving the way for us and we began to contend for his healing with everything we had. We began to seek God’s face with more authenticity and fervor than ever before. Throughout the process we were all being changed.  We believed in hope and faith that Mark would be healed.

 

When the reports came that would discourage, Mark would ask the tough questions and then choose to believe God’s report over man’s. He would say, “My God doesn’t recognize my diagnosis. It is not about great faith, but faith in a great God!” When people thought he was crazy he went for it anyway. One day my husband said to him, “You know as we have been praying for more of God, I realize in the scriptures sometimes more of God meant some kooky stuff!” to which Mark responded, “Well then I choose to be kooky if that is what more of God looks like.”

 

Mark fought for a freedom in the Spirit and a passion in prayer that was bushwhacking down the overgrowth of years of powerless, cynical Christianity. He was a mighty warrior in God’s kingdom and the fruit of his labor has not been completely reaped yet.

 

Mark faced his disease with a courage and determination like I’ve never seen.  He fought until the last minute, not cowering in the darkness but beaming the light of hope through the valley of the shadow of death, saying, “Hope is joyful anticipation of something good!” I’m living with hope today. How about you?”

 

Mark lived a life of great service to others. Even as he was dying of cancer he was still serving the community and the church where he served as a pastor. His last breaths were those filled with hope for those around him.

 

Mark and everyone who was praying for him in faith really believed he would be healed. But he wasn’t.   There is no rhyme or reason. God did not cause Mark’s cancer. Cancer is always from hell.  Sometimes we pray and heaven comes to earth and God heals. Sometimes we pray and it doesn’t.  I don’t know why.  I have decided that if 100% of our prayers were answered then we would be in heaven. So not everyone gets healed while we are here on earth. But we keep praying, we keep praying for His will to be done and His Kingdom to come here on earth just as it is in Heaven. We do not cower at the threats of the evil one who seeks to devour us but we press on with courageous hope and pray for the sick to be healed.

 

Now here is where I might ruffle feathers but I like to do that sometimes.  I believe it was not God’s will for Mark to die. It was a battle we lost. If I believe it was God’s will for him to die when he did then I would have to believe that God gave him cancer and God most certainly did not give him cancer. There is no disease in God’s kingdom, disease is not from God. We have to make sure we understand this. We sometimes misunderstand God’s sovereignty and we forget what world we are living in. God did not take Mark from us. But he received Mark with loving arms.

 

Mark lived with courageous hope and I know his hope was not disappointed one bit.  Ours and especially the hope of his family were greatly disappointed.  But the scriptures promise us if we trust and hope in God then we will not be disappointed or put to shame.  So I believe that through all the disappointment God can turn it for our good and redeem it. I can see how Mark’s life and death has impacted me for God’s kingdom.

 

One of the many courageously hopeful things Mark said in his “Ramblings” he would send out was this:

“Making sense of today takes your faith off the hook, making sense of today gives God a way out.. Making sense today gives Satan the victory…Everyday Satan tries to remind me that my cancer is winning. Every day Satan tries to remind me that my God didn’t really mean what he said. Every day Satan declares that cross wasn’t sufficient for my cancer. But by faith I rebuke his lies and declare God’s truth. If today I give in and begin to make sense of my death, then he wins. If today I begin to bring closure, then I admit defeat. If today I accept those emails of those of you trying to make sense, then I stop having faith.

Therefore, please don’t send me an email trying to make sense of my life “if” I die of cancer. This may sound harsh but I refuse to hear it right now. Instead, I challenge you to stand with me and walk by faith. I challenge you to live in the supernatural with the promises of God in mind. I challenge you to pray Jesus’ prayer and expect his kingdom and his will in heaven to be done today. I challenge you to be a “fool” for Christ!”

 

If you knew Mark please leave a comment below that speaks of the courageous hope you saw in him.

If you want to read more about Mark click here for the website his daughter made in his memory.

 

Some days… the bird poops on your hammock March 4, 2011

Filed under: Gratitude,Life,musings — Shayla @ Courageous Hope @ 6:07 pm
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Some days… the bird poops on your hammock.

And some days your son slaps you in the face.

And your daughter slams her bedroom door in a tantrum.

And you forget to move the clothes from the washer to the dryer and they’ve been there for 8 hours and something smells fishy.

And those special garbage pail liners for the diaper pail run out and now you have nowhere to put all the stinky diapers. And boy do they stink!

And the check doesn’t come in.

And so the bill doesn’t get paid. Again.

And you behave impatiently and unkind and immature and judgmental.

And you walk and you fall down.

But you get up and keep on dancing!

And you know what? On that very same day:

You take your eyes off of the bird poop and onto the birds flying and singing.

And you feel the breeze blowing.

And your son kisses you for no reason.

And your daughter says “Mommy I love you bigger than the whole wide world!”

And your husband comes home after working hard and holds your hand.

And you feel very full, of life, love and gratitude to a God so full of love for you.

Wealthy in all the ways that matter most.

Even on the days when the bird poops on your hammock!

 

An Invitation To Courageous Hope February 26, 2011

Filed under: Life,Poetry,Spirituality,Supernatural Living — Shayla @ Courageous Hope @ 11:38 pm
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Right now there is a song wearing a deep groove on my ipod as it repeats throughout my days. It moves me from deep within with lyrics like:
Your face is what I long to see…
Show me Your face
No more veils covering me
Burn me with pure love
So I can see

Gorgeous Face by Rick Pino is piercing the depths of me right now. It is the beat of my heart. I long to see, truly see His face. I desire for all the veils to be lifted that block my heart from seeing the real and true God. The veils of my own brokenness, the veils of religion, the veils of false assumptions, the veils of my own pain.

I am done with just talking about God and His face. I want to experience Him in all His fullness, truth and power. I am done with clichés and trite religion, done with to-do lists and programs, done with worshipping a god that looks like me.

I am undone.

His face is all that matters. His gorgeous face.
I want to be consumed by His love and the fullness of His heart.

As I pray for eyes to see, I wonder if I can see His face in all this mess?
In the dirty dishes, the teething toddler, the mountain of laundry, the piles of bills, the world gone mad and hopeless.

Can I find him here? See his face?

And I look up; cry out for the veil to be lifted.

And hope rises.

Eyes open.

Ears hear.

That is what brings me to this space here. I need an outlet to process through the written word my journey to His face.

Will you join me here?

Let’s walk together down the long aisle…..
With courageous hope.
Removing the veils as we walk

I see Him waiting for us at the end of the aisle with His all-consuming love, His gorgeous face.

Full lyrics of Gorgeous Face by Rick Pino

Your face
Is what I long to see
Your eyes
Piercing the depths of me

Come quickly, my Father
Your child is here waiting
Show me Your face
No more veils covering me
Burn me with pure love
So I can see
My Lord, my Lord

Awesome splendor
Glorious majesty
Faithful Father
Gorgeous face

 

Flowers for Stacey February 6, 2011

Filed under: Life,Uncategorized — Shayla @ Courageous Hope @ 10:31 pm
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I originally wrote this on another blog on July 21, 2007. While it’s been about three and a half years, her memory lives on.

There is a heaviness in my heart and I’m trying to wrap my head around it. Only I can’t because life is demanding that I be present and active right now. But I really need to process the heaviness. I am incredibly sad.
Two days ago I found out a former student of mine was brutally murdered. Stabbed in the chest nine times. She had been drinking and fell asleep at her killer’s house and after everyone was gone, for reasons no one will know, he took her life away. She was only 15 years old. How do you wrap your head around something like that? Even to say it sounds melodramatic, but it really happened. It breaks my heart when I think of how she must have suffered, it is so senseless. What’s compounds my sadness is I did not find out until a week and a half after the fact. Where was I? Why didn’t I read the paper or watch the news? Why didn’t anyone call me? I missed the funeral. I was not given the opportunity to mourn. So I’m just left here with no closure and I just feel lost. My heart wants to reach out to her friends, my other students, as well, but I missed the memorials when I could have at least let them know I was there and I cared. I need to honor the memory of Stacey. So here is my eulogy….my flowers for Stacey.

At PACE Center for Girls you really get to know the students. It’s not technically in the job description but part of your role is to love them, really. Most of these girls don’t have caring adults in their lives. So I knew Stacey pretty well. She was one of the shining stars, one of the ones you thought would really go far, to some she was a lot to handle, a little out of control…but I think she was just passionate and full of energy and life, and full of need and the desire to love and be loved. And she had the brightest smile that lit up a room.
The last two days have been a fog for me. I’m trying to pack for a long trip and i can’t… because through the flood of tears i see Stacey, I see her standing in front of my desk, hugging her binder to her chest and smiling that priceless smile, with the twinkle in her eye that was trying to get away with something she wasn’t supposed to do. Not because she was bad, but because she was so full of life she couldn’t sit still, and because she loved being with her friends so much she couldn’t stay in the right class, she had to visit all of them. Sometimes she misbehaved because she was too smart…but she didn’t know it. She was kind and thoughtful, and sweet spirited.
Right before I left on maternity leave she gave me this frame for the baby, the kind where you put a picture for each month of the first 12 months. It’s been in my daughters room ever since, When I noticed it I always thought of her. But lately when I’m looking at it, I’m thinking of when she picked it out and what she must have been thinking, “Oh this is cute, Ms. Shayla would love this…”
But I’m also wondering, did I show her love? Did I make her understand what I thought of her, that she was brilliant and beautiful and kind? Did I bring light and life into her short life, for the brief year that I had her in my class? Did I always treat her with respect? Did she know how much I cared? Did she know that I hated the way her step father talked to her and hoped she didn’t believe belittling things that were said to her? Did I always smile back? Did she know I loved her and saw so much potential in her? I keep racking my brain on the exact last time I saw her, what did we say to each other? Did I give her the attention she was looking for or was I wrapped up in something else?
I wish I could go back to one of the days in class… there would be no work that day, and I would just hang out with Stacey and absorb all of her vibrance and pour love into her as much as I could.

There are so many “whys?” in a tragedy like this. But I can’t ask why. I should be angry and I suppose I am, but I can only hope. I hope she did not feel pain, I hope she left this world feeling loved. I hope she knew God’s grace and love. I hope she knew I loved her. I hope she is dancing in a field in heaven, with God smiling back at her…her wounds healed, her broken heart put back together again, feeling completely loved and whole. I hope her death is not in vain. I hope that because of this her peers will think twice about what they do and who they do it with, I hope they will make safer choices. I hope that because of this parents and caring adults of teenagers will keep a tighter reign on them always asking “who?” “what?” “where?” and “be home on time!” I hope that because of this I will show love and speak encouraging words more often. I hope that because of Stacey we will all see the best in others and treat them as if they are already being the best they can be.

 

 
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